Do you have trouble saying no sometimes when people ask you to do something?
It may be as simple as hey, would you like to catch up this week. Initially your response is yes of course and then when you put down the phone or you walk away, sometimes you make think, why did I say that?
Is this something you resonate with, because I do this all the time and it has taken me a long time to learn how to say no.
What I have learnt is that this may come from one of the roles we play, e.g., being a people pleaser.
Something I have been thinking about and I wonder if this is true for you.
I wonder if you resonate with this.
What we think is right for us may not be right for someone else.
What we believe to be true for us may not be true for someone else.
People see things differently, have different opinions on how things should be.
It is like the saying,” One hundred people see a tree and you will see one hundred trees.”
We all see things differently and that comes from our upbringing and our experiences we have had. We learn things from our parents, grandparents and so on. We take on their beliefs, feelings, attitudes and form our own opinions based on what we have learnt, seen, felt. We may decide we don’t like what we see or hear and decide to change, perhaps this, the things we don’t like, becomes a part of us we decide to ignore or minimise and don’t want to be seen as that type of person. We learn to hide behind our mask of our true identity, our true self.
Removing this mask, can be hard that is if we choose to let it go. We may like to wear this mask and never let it go because it makes us feel safe as it is all we have ever known.
We choose pain over pleasure.
We choose to stay in an environment that perhaps we no longer enjoy, rather than choosing to be true to ourselves, taking a risk and letting go what no longer serves us to experience the pleasure of being fulfilled, of doing what our heart truly desires.
This can be a long road, a road full of confrontation, ups and downs yet the outcome can far outweigh the road of staying in the one place and carrying with us resentment, anger, guilt, shame.
It has taken me a long while to work this out and now that I have, I know which road I prefer to travel.
If this is something that resonates with you say “yes” and we can have a chat.
I would love to hear from you. Melissa